Memoir of a coronavirus

Ersin Han Ersin
10 min read
5 Apr 2020

You need the biggest ears to hear me

14th of November 2019

I’ve been airborne for the last nine hours. Feeling dizzy already, it’s been a turbulent few hours, difficult to feel the viscosity of the atmosphere. When I’m airborne, it’s like I’m in a trance, like I don’t have a body. I don’t have a body anyway.

I don’t have a name either, but a sound. If you had the biggest ears on the smallest head, then you could hear it. I produce tiny vibrations which we greet each other with.

You can’t see me because I’m too small to reflect the rays of the sun. You need the largest eyes to see me.

I’ve been through the most interesting of all journeys, inhabiting a variety of life forms for the last 17 years, deriving from a family of great wealth. I am the 1827th generation of my kind and who knows maybe I will die today or succeed my goal of becoming more. I have a message coded in my existence.
3 Essay MLF
© Marshmallow Laser Feast
15th of November 2019

It’s been 14 hours since I descended into this purple void where I feel inaudible high frequencies. Earlier I passed a walking artichoke which made me chuckle.

My host has the fastest heart I’ve ever experienced so far; it beats 800 times a minute. Clearly neglected by homo sapiens, where they struggle to find enough pollen to feed themselves, me, and their family. We travelled 50 miles last night, it was a long and bumpy ride. It is fascinating to think a host this size can speak so fast, fly blind and feel the world through tiny vibrations. We have a lot in common. I am all about vibrations and I’m really good at mimicking them. All I want to know now is what is it like to be a bat? I need to develop a complex system to understand this, but the fast current is making me dizzy and that becomes a high thread for my wellbeing. An escape plan is imminent; here I come.
2 Essay MLF
© Marshmallow Laser Feast
16th November 2019

Finally out of this host, I’ve failed to be more but at least learned a new formation which makes me look even friendlier. Floating bodiless, wishing to be more soon.

17th November 2019, Friday


I thought I was feeling a white light, an ultimate end, but then something happened and I found myself spiraling into a red and white rollercoaster. I managed to grab onto a wall which was slimy enough to carry me across. If there is one thing I have learned in my short life, it is; if you can get a lift in the right direction, don’t miss the chance. Trying to tumble around is always far too exhausting.
1 Essay MLF
© Marshmallow Laser Feast
18th November 2019, Saturday

I’ve been in hiding for the last seven hours. The security here is far more abundant than I’ve ever witnessed. I’ve heard stories from my ancestors who managed to come to terms with these landscapes but they are dead now. It’s my time and I need to try every trick that is coded in my existence. I’ve got many hands on my skin, one of them needs to figure out how to shake hands with this new host

First I try a fist bump and the grip of an apprentice, didn’t work.

Second, pass grip of a master and then real grip of a lion’s paw, didn’t work.

Third, Pass grip of a mark master, didn’t work

Fourth, I try a finger vice, seems like it’s almost working, this is encouraging.

Fifth, I combine finger vice with a teacup, voila! who would have thought it, but it worked!

I pass the information to all my hands. We use the tried and tested combination, and we are in.

19th November 2019, Sunday

I managed to smuggle my way in and started floating in the house. It is spacious and beautifully decorated, art-deco style. There is a central platform which looks like a record player. Must be a kernel.

I’d better send these messages across. It’s been a while since I have felt this warm and free. Floating in a womb must be similar to this.

My message gets played through the powerful amps in which everything becomes louder and louder.

My code of existence is unzipping. Every strand of my genetic make-up is playing through a cellular sound system, every neighboring cell around us now hearing the melodies of my micro rave.

I will do everything I can to make sure every host hears this message.

I know they are trying to make sense of it and asking each other what it means!


Written by Ersin Han Ersin whilst undergoing self-isolation in Hackney Wick, London 2020.
Inspired by the poetic call to action of Gustav Metzger.

About Ersin Han Ersin

Ersin Han Ersin is an artist, director and creative director of London based experiential studio Marshmallow Laser Feast. Ersin’s art practice combines a wide range of disciplines including sculpture, installation, live performance, and mixed reality.

"It is our privilege and our duty to be at the forefront of the struggle. There is no choice but to follow the path of ethics into aesthetics.”

His work illuminates the hidden natural forces that surround us, inviting participants to navigate with a sensory perception beyond their daily experience. In these spaces, the known physical world is removed to reveal networks, processes and systems that are at once sublime, underpinned by research, and fundamental to life on Earth.